chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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