Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
