Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
