apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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