Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
