The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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