These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
