at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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