His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize