you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
