Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
