dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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