wakey wakey hands off snakey
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ketchup is God's man juice
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
