went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i've created a new STD.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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