was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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