Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
a search helicopter?!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
