well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Randomize
