A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
