Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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