GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
