How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize
