He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
