I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize