I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
