I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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