i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
