I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
