If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize