Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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