I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And then he peed in my hair
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