dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
