What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A+ Viking dick
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
