That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
