Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
