In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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