Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
