pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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