My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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