She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
