and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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