I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
