The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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