shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
