just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Less talking, more tequila
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
