I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This is not my ceiling
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
