'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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