bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize