and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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