Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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