your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
