She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
