she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Are my feet made of real feet?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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