Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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