i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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