corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
