I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my being single is dangerous.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
