walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
