When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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