Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
