i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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