he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
