you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
