Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
