Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize